#5 - A Volcano in Shoes

I'm not a psychologist, geologist, vulcanologist, or any other kind of 'ist'. But I'm sure all of us are acquainted with pressure that builds up to a 'breaking point' and what happens next, even if it's just blowing up a balloon larger than it was designed for.

Our school books and newspapers have spent years teaching us what happens to a volcano when the pressure builds up to its breaking point; its erupting point. And the results are most always catastrophic in unthinkable proportions.

I'm going to blow my top soon!

Volcanoes and earthquakes can occur most anywhere, even on the ocean floor. What's fascinating is that God has fashioned this earth in such a way that volcanoes give us some warning signs that it's going to blow its top. According to scientific studies, earthquakes always occur before every eruption. Other ways vulcanologists begin approximate predictions of an eruption is by measuring gas fumes leaking out of vent holes to the surface. They also use satellites and other surveying equipment to discover the slight swelling of the surface around the area.

It's like God is using volcanoes and earthquakes to remind us of His power that reaches beyond our means to control, or even accurately predict. God tells us there are powerful things happening that are not easily detectable, if at all, by our futile technology.

God also gives us subtle warning signs when someone around us is about to blow his/her top. In a volcano the pool of super hot melted rock can no longer be held back and the Earth pushes that rock, called magma to the surface where it sometimes creates new land, but often becomes a blanket of death over towns, people, and animals. This may sound like catastrophe destruction by a God we say is loving.

In many ways God does show His love and provision for us through volcanic eruptions and earthquakes. But to understand, we must be 'on His wavelength'. We must be trusting Him and all He does, to bring man closer to Him and His provision. After all, isn't that a basic purpose of our life on this earth? We're in a school full of lessons that prepare us to learn and know all that we can about God, His power, purpose, judgment, and love. This prepares us for fuller fellowship with Him in Glory, where we'll be spending eternity with Him.

It's my firm opinion that humans are somewhat like volcanoes. That is, continual fear of life's obstacles build up and up. Soon the human mind can take no more and explodes like an angry volcano on anyone nearby. I believe the troubled mind of most ex-teens build up fearful stresses and pressures inside with no knowledge how to controllably vent those ongoing fears that erupts as fits and actions of anger.

In my heart, I sincerely believe that ex-teens don't want this to ever happen, but are powerless to know how to deal with the stresses and fears inside. Their self esteem takes a nosedive and they see the fear and distrust in the eyes of adults around them, which snowballs into an ongoing cycle of deeper depression.

We silver-haired folks must see and trust God's power and protection as we reach out to youth that may very well be under pressures we don't see, but yet need God's leading by still waters.

For the ex-teen Psalm 23 promises God's power to, “...maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

For the silver-haired generation reaching out to others, Psalm 23 promises, “...Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.”

Timing becomes the uncertain unpredictable facet of volcano eruption and youthful outbursts. So the logical and loving thing to do is to be prepared and be diligent in watching and partnering with those ex-teens God has placed near you.
..

#10 - The Golden Classroom

Your Compassion Gauge

The back-bone purpose of HELP CRIES is to learn about ex-teens. This is a good first step in preparing for reaching out to youth... actually for any age that God has placed on your heart. It's much like the 12 spies checking out their new promised land, in Joshua chapter 1. It took courage, and faith in God's plan and promises. Other precious moments in scripture come to mind, like Nehemiah spying out the destruction of Jerusalem in Nehemiah chapter 2.

These actions become a thermometer; a fuel gauge, that helps us get a good idea of our passion for ex-teens and their need of our Savior. Though God promised victory and ownership of the land flowing with milk and honey, ten of the twelve spies, rejected God's directives. All of the people, themselves, chose to believe the ten dissidents. In doing so, they signed their own death warrant that would be carried out over the next 38 years in the wilderness, and causing their children to suffer also.

Mind Your Focus

I would hasten to point out, that God's gift of a promised land to His people included giants. But another aspect of this 'passion thermometer' is seen in whether the people focused on the giant people or the giant fruits; the giant provisions from God (giant clusters of grapes, etc.). In the golden classroom, and elsewhere, it's crucial we maintain our focus on God's fruits in His/our harvest field before us.

In our neighborhood, and maybe yours too, ex-teens gather at fast-food restaurants, often just to hang out. They gather in small groups of 3 to 6 and swap the latest news. You can think of these gatherings as Golden Classrooms. We call them 'Golden' classrooms because they offer many golden lessons that typically only cost the price of a burger, fries, coke, or coffee.

Previous short visits to your classroom will tell you when your 'ex-teen teachers' are most likely there. Plan on eating slow and staying a while. These classes are none of the grab 'n run ten-minute events.

Before you enter your 'golden classroom' make sure you've prepared your heart, spirit, and mind for the lessons you'll learn. Be very clear. YOU are the student. THEY are the teachers. Yes, your teachers have orange hair, facial jewelry, and dress with no concern for their appearance (or maybe they really do.)

Love-listening Works Here

Sit in a booth close enough to theirs that will allow you to be able to overhear their conversations. Your golden classroom lessons will teach you what's on their hearts and minds. Begin to learn the many ways that Satan has twisted the ex-teen's version of truth. This is where the powerful skill of Love-listening comes in. (Love-listening is covered elsewhere in this workshop.)

These golden classroom lessons will also teach you that often, 'normal' appearing ex-teens are as troubled inside, as those with strange dress codes.

Remind yourself moment by moment, you are in the classroom not for gathering gossip or garbage data, but learning how and where to reach out to INDIVIDUALS that Jesus gave His life for. If you don't have this compassionate attitude, leave.

More than once, I've felt led and acted by handing my cellphone to one of the youth and began with, “Hey. Can you show me how to...?”

What are some other places God might place your golden classroom? Sports events, on-line chat rooms, fairs, Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus etc. Use your imagination; use your heart. Ask your friends of other places you can hang out that might become your golden classroom in your golden years of service to our Lord before His soon sure return.

#12 - Beyond Ex-Teenage Dreams

While my silver hair can't help me remember where I parked the truck coming out of the store, only a few minutes ago, I can, however still remember my teenage dreams of standing in the shoes of David, defending God's honor and army. No giant was so big to make me shake and skedaddle to safety. We all need a hero male or female, no matter our age.

I rather doubt today's teens have any God-honoring hero; or even any to choose from. It's like society is saying it's not possible to be a courageous bold leader in today's world. Courageous leaders ... and calling down fire from heaven to consume evil, well, those days are gone.

More than that; how about having a balanced life of peace, purpose, joy, and love. Ex-Teens see that life maybe available on another planet, or, only in heaven.

The key verse of a youth evangelism organization*, I was once employed by, was the anchor to their Balanced Life program. It was called balanced life because it quartered the life of a teenager in a way attention could be given to each part. The balanced life quarters were Mental, Physical, Spiritual, and Social. The program gave the teen and his/her mentor a starting point to see God has provision for every area of those stressful teen growing years.

The next level broke each quarter into 4 more quarters, as follows:

Mental: Thoughts, Attitudes/Motives, Meditation, and Studies

Physical: Cleanliness/Appearance, Control of Sex, Health, and Discipline.

Spiritual: Faith, Love, Obedience, and Prayer.

Social: Associations and Witness, Activities, Abilities

Whether you think of the subdivisions listed above as 'intermediate goals' or a 'divide and conquer' process, it is a powerful way to guide a teen into looking at ALL areas of his/her life. Now before we dig deeper, I want you to look at the key verse the youth evangelism anchored all this to. Bible scholars consider this scripture to refer to the teen years and above, of our Savior Jesus Christ,
since it follows a historical account of Jesus as a 12 year old.

Look at Luke 2:52. "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." Consider carefully the four areas of Jesus' life. I'll add links in brackets: And Jesus increased in wisdom (mental) and stature (physical), and in favour with God (spiritual) and man (social).

As an exercise, think of some hurdles in a teen life and discuss which of the 16 areas would help a teen to zero in on making it a stronger part of a teen balanced life. Maybe even some hurdles from your own teen years ...

Hopefully, God will give us the right words to magnify the Lord Jesus as a worthy Hero for every teen to look up to and strive to emulate. After all, isn't that what the word CHRISTIAN means?

More than win (against giants of every kind).

I've loved to sing the song VICTORY IN JESUS for more than 6 decades. But the song only carries half the promise. The other half you seldom hear about, and never teach a teen (but should) uses the word MORE. Teens and most all youth, especially boys, are competitive and certainly want to win - that's the VICTORY IN JESUS. But a strange promise in scripture tells us there is another step above the Olympic's Bronze, Silver, and Gold. This strange concept taught nowhere else on earth, is that a person can MORE THAN conquer that giant in their life. Romans 8:37 says, "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us."

Now the 'through him that loved us', that's Jesus. You know, the One with the balanced life. As you mentor an ex-teen, begin by dividing up his challenges into pieces. Maybe do it as you and the ex-teen boy take a screwdriver to a junk computer, or layout all the ingredients to making a cake, with a teen girl. Who knows, maybe the process will help conquer some giant fears or unknowns in both your lives. The key is the 'through Him that loved us.'

Can you ever imagine what can be accomplished with love, sacrifice, and God's precious word?

* Youth For Christ

#13 - God's Little By Little

Reaching out to ex-teens has a whole lot to do with timing; acting when God gives you the green light, pausing when you see the caution signal and having a 'time-out' when you only see God's stop light or an 'opportunity door' God has marked 'not now'.

Besides killing a bear, a lion, and a giant, David was also a musician who played well enough to soothe King Saul. In the Bible, the Book of Psalms is a book of songs. In his songs, quite often David included small “hold-its” or pauses. You see them each time you read the word “Selah”. Bible scholars all agree that Selah also means to pause or wait just a bit. It is used as something like a musical pause.

Many believe Selah also means to “pause and reflect” or “pause and retaste”; what came before. This would be like smacking your lips after having eaten a tasty morsel. I believe it is fitting and consistent with scripture to assume God wants us to “taste again” His printed words of truth. We should ask ourselves, “What have I just read? What is the deeper meaning of the words I’ve just heard preached?”

This fundamental truth, to be learned early on, is that waiting long or short periods has very profound purposes. Waiting on God is far from just sitting on one’s hands and shifting the brain out of gear. David gives us the simple process in Psalms 37:7:

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

To rest, wait patiently, and fret not requires that we acknowledge that someone has the power and authority to control our circumstances. Further, that we acknowledge that someone knows and cares about our needs. Well, there is, and He does. Have you remembered the previous topic teaching us that God cares and controls?

Oh how we need to simply convey the peace, purpose, and rest in God's control, to those ex-teens we want to reach out to. Read that ‘Rest in the Lord…’ verse again and “Selah” on the words “Rest”, “wait patiently”, and “fret not.” That verse is a perfect one for placing over the kitchen sink, on the refrigerator, above your desk, inside your toolbox, or near your speedometer.

Little by Little.

Here we are still working on timing i.e. God’s timing.
There is a sweet wonderful truth about waiting on God that surrounds three little words. The words are “little and little”. These are the equivalent of our “little by little.”

By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased, and inherit the land. Exodus 23:30

And the LORD thy God will put out those nations before thee by little and little: thou mayest not consume them at once, lest the beasts of the field increase upon thee. Deuteronomy 7:22

These verses are used to describe the slow, orderly timetable God uses. This was just the right timing for the Israelites to capture their idolatrous enemies and to seize the land that God had promised them. God could have snapped his fingers and all of the enemy nations would have instantly been dead. Some of the reasons why He did not are ones we need to internalize, and maybe even apply to our own lives.

1. One reason why He did not is in the word Selah, which we have just learned about. After each and every battle God wanted the people to stop and reflect (Selah) on how God had delivered the enemy into their hands in times past. He also wanted Israel to reflect on what happens to people who worship idols.

2. The verses refer to the wild beasts that would flourish uncontrollably upon the countless corpses that Israel could not have buried fast enough.

3. Because God purposely did not destroy all the enemy nations all at once, fields would still be planted and tilled. The cattle would also be maintained also. Can you see the result is that God is blessing us mightily by having others begin the work we are to continue?

He shows us step-by-step, little and little, that He hears and wants to answer our every prayer to be victorious in His name. And He wants us to savor and share every morsel of His blessings with those ex-teens He has placed in our harvest field. Treat those "waiting on God's timing" moments, with the same precious times as those we call 'mountain top moments'.

Read more about God's timing in the songs He inspired David to include in the Bible's book of Psalms.

#14 - Wiring The Minds of Ex-Teens

The wiring of the minds of teens and ex-teens (used-to-be-teens) is different in each gender. We do need to review those important differences as we learn about them, to reach out to them with greater compassion and understanding. In two words the differences revolve around COMMUNICATION in girls and COMPETITION or CONSTRUCTION in boys.

Learning Gender Gaps

God wired each one of us with a brain in two main parts or lobes. The left portion is more adept
at dealing logically; comparing numbers, facts, procedures etc. Our right lobe deals more with
relationships, personalities, feelings, sympathy, compassion etc.

Scientists are quick to say that boys and men are 'left lobe dominate', while girls and women are
right lobe dominate. Just as in a symphony all are equally important in their own way, whether we are
right or left lobe dominate doesn't make one better than the other. Consider the words 'help meet' in
Genesis 2:18. I've come to believe the life partner God gave to Adam was not just another copy of
himself (Adam) but one with abilities and temperament that complimented Adam.

This 'filling in the gaps' of Adam's abilities by Eve goes far beyond the 'be fruitful and multiply'
task for the duo; this living breathing symphony; this crowning creation by our all-powerful God.
In just a few words, the 'left lobe dominate' boys and men don't thrive in the 'calm and comfort
zone' of ladies. Men eat up action that includes competition, risky, loud, big, messy, fast, and 'think on
your feet' flashy stuff. If you're reaching out to girls - think communication; particularly digital; and
certainly frequent. If your reach out to boys - think competition and construction.

In a previous HELP CRIES segment we talked about the Golden Classroom as a powerful way to begin understanding your harvest field of ex-teen souls. Another powerful classroom we'll call the SILVER TOP classroom. Simply it's a gathering, small or large, of our silver-haired generation, snacks, marker board and earnest prayer. It works something like this:

1. Certainly begin with earnest unhurried prayer for hearts to become even more deeply burdened for the 'thrown-away' generation so many are actually afraid of – the ex-teens – ages 20 to 23 something.

2. Spend a first meeting considering the boys. Maybe show some pictures of boys with 'odd' appearances and actions. Show some pictures of some 'normal' boys, realizing that inside attitudes and stresses may be the very same, regardless of outward appearances.

3. Have some presentations that depict a Garage Mission Station. Our favorite website shows how it's done, in story form. The Garage Mission Station can be up-scaled a little for the older ex-teens.

Gramps And The Nano Web Laboratory

ChurchKids.org/0nwl/ (that's a zero)

We'll take a look at the girls side next time.

#15 - How to Build a Bridge

How to build a bridge is what HELP CRIES is all about. But this bridge is not made of screws, steel, and paint. The bridge we're building is much larger than those we drive cars over. Our bridge is designed to carry heavier loads and help with saving and building strong lives. Ironically, our bridge is built not over some river but at a kitchen table.

The bridge links the heart of a lady with silver hair, not so much aching from stiff and sore joints, but a heart crying out to God for His design this day to connect to the heart of girls – teens and ex-teens. This bridge built at a kitchen table (maybe yours) will get lots of 2-way traffic. Each listens deeply to the other. (Elsewhere we've called this Love-listening) The bridge becomes a partnership; a journey to bring both closer to understanding what real love actually is, and what it wants to do.

Now the tools for this bridge construction are simple and readily available. A couple cookies, a cup of soothing drink, some cellphones (turned off and laying next to...) and God's precious 'How-To' manual, opened and ready to be used; as every Bible should be.

The real joy of this bridge building is seeing the anticipation and expectation the girls paint each day's experience with. If done properly, you can easily run out of cookies and kitchen chairs. Girls, teens and ex-teens are so confused, distressed, and disillusioned with all of technology's communication dead ends, they don't have anywhere to turn, except your kitchen table mission station (I mean bridge building moments).

Our favorite on-line free library has several stories about kitchen table (and picnic table) ministries you'll want to savor as you begin to reach out to those ex-teen girls, God has placed in your harvest field. Our favorite, with a non-technical technology flavor, is TEXTING WITH HOPE. This resource is broken up into short story segments just perfect for having a silver-top classroom gathering with your friends and discuss each segment and how it can apply to your harvest field.

ChurchKids.org/twh/

You can also become a
Cookie Mountain Missionary (curling iron, optional)

and a Cookie Jar Granny

#16 - Calm Waters for Ex-Teens

“SLOW DOWN!” my silver-haired wife would say loudly to me, more than once, in my quick pace to find a familiar road sign and determine where we were in a tossing sea of signs and sounds. Without any on-hand help from technology to get a hold on where we were, a desperate turn into a small fast-food restaurant to put a hold on our confusing fast journey farther into our unknown.

In an earlier HELP CRIES #13 – God's Little by Little segment, we touched on some of God's schedule of His blessings for us, and why. He further emphasizes our need to SELAH 'pause and retaste' his blessings to us in even longer periods. He gives us one day of the week to pause and think about our actions, events, plans of the past and coming week. He wants us to not just have fun or survive each day and week; He has His agenda for us that involves real life-saving opportunities for those around us.

If that isn't enough, God also has given a YEAR of rest for the land. He calls it a Sabbath Year, whereby several rules of rest are to be observed.

Now have you noticed? God gives us all these different 'pause periods' not to put our minds and spiritual growth on a shelf. He knows we humans need to take a special breather in thought and praise.

Ex-Teens Breather in Thought & Praise

During one of the days in the life of one of my children, when they thought their world was crumbling on top of them, we took a ride. Not far from our home, back then, was a river with a man-made waterfall. The view was a great place for a picnic. But today was definitely not a time for a picnic.
After we got out of the car, but leaned against it, I said, “Let's just take a few quiet moments, take a couple long deep breaths, and learn from what we are looking at right now.”

My teen's first response evidenced an inner earthquake caused by a broken love relationship.
I asked, “Which direction is the river flowing?” I got an appraising look that maybe I was off my rocker. “No. Listen. This is very important. Which way is the river flowing?” Hand gestures to me said the river was flowing from our left to our right. I looked my teen right in the eye and asked, “Will it ever go the other way?”

With a bit more inner calm, my teen said, “Never.” “OK. I agree. Now just suppose there was a super bad earthquake where some buildings came tumbling down and that dam over there got all broken up and some of it sank to the bottom of the river. Which way would the river then be flowing?” With another long deep breath, my teen said, “It wouldn't change. The river will still be flowing in the same direction it does now.”

Facing my teen and with good eye contact, I summarized by asking, “Now let me get this straight. You've just told me that no matter what happens to stuff that we humans build, like that dam over there, God's laws are still going to be obeyed; that water is still going to keep on going down hill. Is that what you've just told me?” My teen, now with head bowed, and moving a pebble with a shoe, took another long deep breath, and softly answered, “Yes. God is still in control.”

I put my arm around my teen and said, “You know, God can do so much with water. I mean He can walk on it, He can call it out of a solid rock, He can make it stand still and let those He loves walk through to places He has given them. And then God can use water to swallow up evil people. God does many mighty things with water, back in Bible times, but also today too.”

With an extra hug, I said, “Just like God uses water to do mighty things for Him, He wants me and He wants you to do mighty things for Him. And it's just like God to wrap all His actions for us in love. God does so many things with water – as powerful as it is, but love is even more powerful. God has given us a heart for love; to accept love and to give love.”

“The problem is that you and I act too much like that river over there. We don't seem to find the time to stop. We don't look for a calm quiet pool we can take a big breather and see what God has put around us.” To my teen, I said, there's a really famous Bible verse that a giant-killer shepherd boy talks about being 'lead by still waters'.”

Whether we're an ex-teen on a frantic out-of-control journey downhill, or a silver-haired person with great compassion for youth, we must often, drop anchor, find calm waters, and see where God has brought us; we need to get our bearings. Only when we find where we're at, and clearly see that our Loving God, 'that first loved us', wants to be at the very top on our list of loves. That established at the top of our agenda every day, can we then decide how and where we'll proceed; obeying His laws; His laws of love.

#18 - Making the Connection

There are many simple straight-forward projects that have a bit of technology connection to them; required for reaching the attention of that ex-teen in your God-given harvest field. You will be quite surprised to see how helpful and cooperative that youth is, when he/she sees you honestly and compassionately reaching out to them. In a sense, let them be your teacher. Make this your own Golden Classroom loaded with prayerful preparation. I like guarantees and I know you do also.

Savor this one:
He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. Psalm 126:6

Click HERE or the MAKING THE CONNECTION tab above for details.

#19 - Are We There Yet?

“Are we there yet?” What a simple question that always accompanies actions that involve most travel or progress; whether it be reading a story, working a problem, or going down some road. Often the question is asked by the person not knowing just what the destination or goal actually is.

Even with mankind's GPS positioning technology matched up with road maps and a human synthesized voice speaking, “turn right at this intersection”, man still has no deep satisfaction he is where he is supposed to be. Maybe we often arrive at a dead end that is decorated to look like our goal. Shortly we get an uneasy feeling we are somehow at a spot that God is not, nor has been.

This is likely the most lonely place on our planet; having trusted in man's guidance devices, being 'dumped' at a dead end we thought was a worthy goal, and now not knowing who or what to trust in. Welcome to the lost world of most teens and ex-teens.

With a heart and typing fingers full of compassion for all those in this lost world, the HELP CRIES has been published, with God's leading. My heart asks, “Are we there yet? Have we done all that God wants in this resource?” The answer comes back, “There is the frosting, you know.”

The Apostle Paul taught the young pastor Timothy all about frosting; the frosting on the cake; the finishing touch to all teaching. The clear principle is stated in 2nd Timothy 2:2:

“And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.”

Paul says the job is not done until your student becomes a teacher to others; and actually even beyond that. In a light-hearted semi-serious sort of way, I think of this as “be fruitful and multiply” (intellectually).

So how do we know when HELP CRIES has done its job? The answer is when the ex-teen that once was in that lost world of technology dead ends, is now reaching out in compassion to those ex-teens who are sending out tearful SOS!... SOS!... SOS!

The 'Grandfather Psalm' says,

“Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.” Psalm 71:18